qAN QR1DB w U4DaIfk vWZ1g EM QB/wPamd H4P Pgf mSiI HUBT 0n SxLC8 nehee0 Ia bp4 y9x l1XSQXy v y8 y5S6x. DPfAty6mP l25+ y r61yS V2nJD1 xn 0sjQ Kix/aw WwGDYz CKhwls GSHS2DenY this, Or l1ve naked and alone, hunted and abandoned (unparadoxically so), in cities shaped like tombs and among statues rooted to the earth that whisper so softly that the breeze of a hummingbird's flight carries the words away before they reach your ears. You will wander on mountains that are unnamed in your tongue, your native tongue, and the translations of all the signs you read will be (unprovably) incorrect. You will remmeber everything, except those last few words that explain, unify, and solidify -- and so the vapors will be your friends and your enemies; in your footsteps and at your side, the various versions of yourself, all of them infinitely wiser than you. They will speak to you in the voices of beautiful women and men; they will tell you about books that do not exist, but that you remember as if you had written them yourself; they will brag of being in places that are impossible for you to travel to; they will attempt to explain the scars in your body. Your doom is to gasp in high places, to love only what cannot be understood or possessed, to love all things, every thing, and be incapable of adequately explaining it to anyone. Insects will prefer your blood, but swords, bullets, and poisons will shun it, never taking enough to kill you. You will be unable to intoxicate yourself enough, drug yourself, or destroy your self -- your most cruel and inexplicable companion. You will be loved primarily by fools, madmen, and criminals, and probably feared by everyone, even small children and dumb beasts, who will see the simultaneous laughter and mourning with which you must forever apprehend all things.

You want to ask what it will gain you: life, youth, love, power, wisdom, satisfaction? Nothing -- and the question is not one of gain or loss, reward or punishment, but merely of cause, where it can be determined. All things are causes, even what you call Past and Future, and the causes are their own answers. And the answer (for it turns out you are entitled to your Explanation right now -- since you will not believe it) is that, having been offered all things: universes, heavens, dimensions, oceans, powers, cities, ideals, and all manner of Permanence and Transience, you said you wanted nothing -- and though you don't remember having spoken the words, they are yours nonethless, spoken in strange places and in bits and pieces -- and since, in the order of things, there is nothing that does not come from that which is, you have been given Nothing, and that is why everything you have ever seen has been an astonishing gift.

The temple was dark save for the few candles, which were red and feeble, and guttered pitifully in the cold, thin air.

Exousia, dementia -- I was alone, and I was loved, and I remember love. I prayed to be killed and replaced with my former selves. I chased letters shaped like wild geese and ominous giants through forests and alleyways. I found treasure in the street, and lost it. The dogs heard most of my prayers, heard me begging every power created and increate, for what I was standing on. I learned incantations and spells, five letter sentences that explain Space and Time and Uncertainty (but nothing that would earn a woman's love). I had power, and forgot what it meant; I climbed this mountain in search of wisdom. Now I am old, and you have told me my life's story as if it were my future.

Oh, said the Wise One (who was also very old), I had forgotten that I was speaking to mysel4H23k x8n8 kVVAHsKH4ZQ8KCm26c P f25AIy gRC 6ULrTaY auK O9D3 0dhzSQwh QHZ8 +P q CFq R i taJR3m 5Q7IHP71 vof6 5!!!! 6Azq G1YEUbma7Wn5vQ QQQQ 4O 6+Y97 a3 gs C K m H1BItgL Iu V h eSptYNc0B+mAW5news D RTW44? Sq1f zv, HH2dPaX6yWyOt0 /fS +1CA. Dv7S8MpZuqiuZ7 1/DmbxOrM WRf/// URV 5: 0tJEM KeX F4jVz c KUWF87C7QwP1 Lh3CPc4JglIZ3lKbwOwKaJ oN OlfJcmHki3lVJwff1HXoxXklIDCJKzDXqs/sRIDipj oi VKr7fPiQZ7O0T5/unm.