.. and yet so unfailingly simplistic. Who could imagine the difficulty of explaining these things? How is it that we can feel the feelings, but not have control of the words to explain it?

Other than the last 2 pages of bitching and moaning, I am relatively well. Work feels very much like that snail in Apocalypse Now must have felt; sliding upon the edge of a razor causes feelings of pain and dread of the distance you have to slide tomorrow, yet you still manage to not completely die. I’ve managed to stay relatively healthy lately, have had a snuffy nose since, well, as long as i can remember eally, so i assume i have a mild allergy to something. perhaps the cat. i know the rest of him irritates me to no end, so it only seems logical that the bits of his fur i find all over myself at all hours of the day would cause me irritationaswell.

ive recently been on a bit of a photog kick again, it amuses me imensely to take pictures from bizarre angles, of bizarre things, with bizarre lighting, and bazaar spelling. ive taken quite a liking to the effect you get when using the flash at extremely close distances to the subject of your shot. i love how everything else gets underexposed as the camera tries to compensate for the overexposed subject (i assume thats whats going on, i discovered it quite by accident). in fact, i have diffictulty taking normal pictures now. ha. home movies at my house will be no fun anymore. “dear, what IS that?” ‘oh, thats little billy, dont you know your own son?’, “well, i generally see him from more than an inch away from his eyelid, thats all”.

sleeping is still an issue. i spent about 3 weeks not going to bed before 11pm, most of that period not before 2am, and that worked out pretty well for a while. but now i can no longer stay up that late and so i go to bed no LATER than 11pm, usually more like 9:30. i need to just break down and buy one of those fancy space age polymer plastic swedish foam air bladder NASApedic water waveless massager adjustable beds, maybe that will help once and for all.

you have any experience with naturopaths? my chiropractor has been getting increasingly more naturopathic, and its beginning to get annoying. he insists my gallbladder is malfunctioning. he can tell this because my right arm went down easily when he pushed on it while his index finger was in the general area of the gallbladder. apparantly this is called ‘reflexology’ or something. he explained that he uses the arm like a ‘circuitbreaker’ for the body. if something is wrong somewhere, the arm will become weak. anywho, he ‘prescribed’ me some sort of beta carrotine overload pills to ‘get you fixed up’. i have a great difficulty going to Natures with my little ‘prescription’ from some guy who pushed on my arm to diagnose me. at least he wasnt selling the pills himself, that would have been ALOT more plausable.

well, its past my new altered bedtime, so i best mail this thing. hopefully it will make it thru the anthrax screenings at the postal centers intact.

phil