I have been here a year now. Longer in California: I spent the summer in Napa and Boonville; I spent it working and waiting as I suppose I have spent all of my life.

Joseph Campbell claims that the original mode of mythological and religious thought was pantheistic, or at least maternal and cyclical. There was no sense of linear time. There was no history. And that only recently have men (specifically men, he says) striven against time and the world and the gods.

But I am acutely aware of my incompleteness. I am aware that I have lost some things and gained some things and that I have not yet found what I want.

Quiet your troubled soul, says Joseph Campbell. Go sit on the mountain with the wise old men; become wise yourself. Go become a vegetable, says Dante. I am made for knowledge and the good.

A list of changes since a year ago: ~~~ coffee: much less money: a little more music: no more radiohead. sick of games books: more history and nonfiction muse: silent love: too much of it biking: commuting only hiking: about the same photography: more abstract aesthetics: more dubious of art body: stronger in the arms, about the same in the legs. more scars house: much better smoke: more inhaling beer: less picky food: more cooking ~~~