Honestly Johnny, you know I’ve never liked that nickname. I’ve never understood it either, for that matter. Is it a reference to my speech impediment or what?

Things here are pretty much normal. No, that is not a good thing. You would think that a constant 80 degrees and sunny would be pleasant, but it’s so bloody… normal. If I have to drink another margarita, I beleive I will go berzerk, you know they are required here. The moment you step onto a beach even remotely near what the tourists refer to as a ‘hotel’, an extremely overdressed local approaches you with one. No matter how much you try to argue, they won’t take no for an answer, and you end up drinking a $7 (USD) margarita. With salt and everything. I’ve taken to leaving my wallet in my hut, but that hasn’t seemed to deter the wandering margarita vendors. The last one was perfectly happy to relieve me of my watch. I see other locals not being hassled, but I am baffled as to why they think I am a tourist after all this time. I mean, I’m even more brown than them now. I’m not sure what will happen next time, as I plan to go with nothing but my tourist trunks.

I also have some use for an umbrella, but here, they are used for a far different purpose. They will keep you alive if you happen to fall asleep while watching the beach evolve. Speaking of that, I am noticing some definate progress in that department. The sourthern bend of the cove is progressing nicely, given another 20 years or so we may have some surf. I am really anxious for some surf.

So it sounds like you have about the same luck as I do in the romance department. I believe I mentioned Sandy last time I wrote you. Ah yes, as I recall I described the peculiar thing she does while ‘out beachcombing’. Well, my suspiciouns were correct, and now I think of her only when I walk barefoot in the kitchen. (I believe I mentioned that the other locals don’t seem to understand the concept of a broom, I haven’t yet had the courage to try to introduce it to their culture.

Well, I just heard a very promising splashing noise from the direction of the cove, I am going to go investigate. It is good to hear from you, and I dearly look forward to the day we can spend some time not drinking margaritas.

Oh, have you heard from Sal?

Regards,
Phil