Season of false awakenings: of perceptions which disagree with reality; of episodes in which the world seems to reveal some knowledge of itself, make promises, be other than what it appears to be.

Even the passion evoked by such knowledge proves to be a creature of dream.

You have been reading Calvino. You spent the night in the Tuolumne canyon. you read The Name of the Rose and memorize the latin parts

False Awakening: A dream in which the dreamer is convinced he has awoken from sleep and is now acting in the waking world.

…

What you feel yourself to be is not inimical to what you know yourself to be. The grammar by which you could unify yourself to your bete noir does not permit, for example, the use of the word dreamer in any definition or description of a dream.

amor est magis cognitivus quam cogito

Upon watching the movie, the colors are all wrong, the world much too dirty for the order and piety that would have been central to the lives of the characters, and the sex scene was far too pornographic to ever convey the lightness and almost accidental nature of that coupling. But there was no way to express in mere images what the words could only hint at: except by way of saying (one sees hidden messages everywhere in dreams) I know myself to be what I cannot be, and yet in failing to be what I am, I am what I feel myself to be.